Treading Lightly During Divorce

Broken Heart Illustration

It is never simple to get through a divorce. Divorce is a legal and financial separation and after you go through a relationship, marriage and children, this is a separation that is much harder than a regular one. There is no cure for a broken heart, but there are steps that you can take to ensure that you can tread lightly through divorce.

There’s just no point in trying to sugarcoat the situation: you are going through a painful time of it. However, if you can make it easier on yourself, even after the long meetings at to work out the details about the final separation, you will make it through this time. So, with that in mind, let’s look at ways that you can come out of the other side of divorce a little bruised, but largely intact.

  • Cry, Cry, Baby. The end of a relationship can feel like a death. You need to go through a mourning process when it comes to your separation. The most important thing here is to give yourself time to get through it. If you don’t allow yourself time to grieve, you’re going to find it particularly hard to cope later on. So, cry. Mourn. Sob into the pillow. You have earned it.
  • Forgive Them. Okay, hear me out here. You have to forgive your ex for whatever it was that went down – especially if children are involved. You’re not forgiving them for them, and you don’t even have to tell them that you have forgiven them – do it for you. Let your soul be at peace. If you’re still fighting in a decade, you may as well never have divorce.
  • Get Out. The best thing that you can do for yourself at this time is to get together with your friends. They are going to be able to help you to work through the heartbreak. They’ll be your support system at this time in your life. Talk, share, scream if necessary, but don’t do it alone.
  • Embrace The Rage. That anger that you’re feeling right now? That’s normal, natural, and it’s going to eat you alive. Don’t fight it. Let yourself be angry and feel the feelings, and then take a deep breath and let it go. Deal with the hurt and you can stop feeling like you’re in a nightmare. Once you deal with the hurt, the relief that follows will lift you up.
  • Watch What You Say. The kids will have questions, but to be honest, you don’t have to answer them. Be practical: explain that you love each other very much but you can’t be together anymore, and that you’ll always be a family. Never insult or badmouth the other parent, as that will make them feel bad. Keep the vitriol for conversations with friends.

Your divorce needs delicacy and attention. Don’t treat is as nothing: it’s not nothing. Feel every emotion in the spectrum, and then move forward with your dignity and respect intact.


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