What is marriage? It is waking up to the same person every day for the rest of your life. The ‘forever’ part of the marriage may seem magical in the fairy tales and romance novels, in reality, it gets monotonous and predictable with each passing day. And night. After some time, you completely know your spouse. You know what they like and what they don’t like. You know their moves and they know yours. You start feeling like there is nothing left to discover together anymore. Well, that’s completely normal. It can, however, eventually lead to bigger problems such as infidelity and an eventual divorce if it is not addressed soon enough.
Trapped in Routine
Many spouses feel trapped in this routine love-making but they do not know how to address it without hurting the sentiments of the other. A wrong word or a misplaced gesture can result in a huge misunderstanding between them, so it needs to be approached with sensitivity and respect for each other’s feelings.
Look for Things to Break the Monotony
There are various ways which help the couple to revive and increase the passion that they have for each other these days can range from extended foreplays, role-plays, sex toys and even inviting other people into the mix. But the biggest stigma that works against these ways is this feeling of being inadequate for your partner. This is why people avoid talking about it.
Even Marriage Counselors and Therapists Recommend It
It needs to be remembered that any sexual activity with a loving partner can be the most pleasurable and does not have to be restricted. Just because you are supposed to have sex with the same person for the rest of your life does not mean that you have to go through the same routine. Not only is it absolutely okay to add spice into your sex life but it is also recommended by the therapists and counselors.
Work Up the Comfort Level
Sex toys are the perfect things to spice up an otherwise monotonous lovemaking routine. Their wide range allows the partners to take things as slowly as they want according to their own comfort level. You do not have to get a sex swing just yet. You can take it slow by adding harmless and non-invasive sex toys initially such as blindfolds and restraints such as hand and ankle cuffs. And then move on to other toys according to your comfort level. Discuss this with your spouse and remember to take their comfort level into consideration before purchasing and/or using a toy on them. Their comfort levels may be different than yours so respect that. Do not try to pressure them into something as that may upset them and put undue pressure on them.
Trust is the Most Important Aspect
When discussing this with your partner make sure that the conversation focuses on your mutual pleasure rather than on your pleasure or their shortcomings. Always remember that letting a person use sex toys on you requires trusting that person. So if your partner trusts you enough to let you use a toy on them, then it is your responsibility that you should never do anything without their permission.
Form Opinions after Experiencing, Respect the Opinions
Both partners need to have the authority to reject a suggestion if they do not like a certain thing. But instead of outright rejection, it is better if the partner rejecting the suggestion try to explain the reason behind the rejection. It is also healthy to have a minimum number of times that a person would have to try a new suggestion before rejecting it. For example, you may decide that every suggestion needs to be used at least twice before a partner can reject it. This would enable them to try it out before forming an opinion. But even after trying it, if the partner still rejects it, then it should not be initiated ever again. This allows the partners to be respectful of each other’s choices.
Once you and your partner have discussed and agreed upon using sex toys, you can get them online from various websites without having to go to a store. These websites provide discreet packaging so you wouldn’t have to worry about the whole world knowing. Finally, have fun exploring!