As kinky sex is becoming more and more mainstream, it’s easy to forget that vanilla lovers have their needs too. But today is your day because, in this article, you’ll find new things to try in bed that can make your sex life a bit more exciting but don’t force you to push your boundaries. From sex toys to sure-fire sensual approaches to intimacy, here’s how and everything on sexual Exploration:
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What is Considered Vanilla Sex?
If a middle-aged couple having sex in a missionary position is what comes to your mind when you think of vanilla sex, you aren’t alone. But contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t have to be stereotypical or boring.
Vanilla sex can be filled with love and as much lust as when a kink is involved.
While this type of lovemaking might not force you out of your comfort zone as much as kinky sex does, it’s still a great form of sexual exploration that can challenge you enough to help you discover your preferences.
Additionally, it’s important to remember that whether sex is vanilla or kinky can be very subjective. Some people might have sex in the same position all the time but incorporate sex toys and power dynamics into the play, while others might test new positions every day but prefer to have it ‘plain’.
There’s no right or wrong way to have sex, but for the purpose of this article, vanilla sex refers to people who don’t have any specific kinks and prefer to keep things simple, without toys or dressing up.
New Things to Try in the Bedroom
1. Focus on eye contact
One great thing about vanilla sex is that it feels best when there’s a connection between partners, and the easiest way to strengthen it is by maintaining eye contact. Staring deep into your partner’s eyes might feel vulnerable, but you’ll notice that your touch becomes a lot more meaningful once you ease into it.
2. Be affirmative and vocal
If dirty talk is a bit too out of your comfort zone, there are other ways you can be vocal during sex. One of the top new things to try in bed is using affirmative language that will point your partner in the right direction and allow him to become more familiar with what you like but also increase his confidence and is quite a turn-on. Even saying, ‘I like when you’re touching me like this’ can be enough to make your partner go crazy.
3. Make sure the setting is right- sexual Exploration
It’s not just about how you do it but where you do it. Even though, as someone who prefers vanilla sex, you can’t express your enthusiasm through buying new handcuffs or surprising your partner with a role play, you can still commit to bettering your sex life by creating a space that promotes arousal.
The second on the ‘new things to try in bed’ list is learning how to set the scene and making it a part of your pre-sex preparation, just like shaving or washing. You can invest in intimate lighting that casts shadows on your bodies but still allow you to make out the curves, buy comfortable sheets and use scent to ignite your senses. Just think of how having sex with your partner makes you feel – safe, sexy, empowered, loved – and make sure the setting reflects that.
4. Focus on less obvious erogenous zones- sexual Exploration
Even though gadgets can help partners explore each other’s bodies and allow them to play with different sensations, vanilla sex forces you to work with what you already have, which is actually a good thing as you can’t take shortcuts to pleasure. So instead of just focusing on your genitals, a good idea to add layers to your sex life is to pay attention to other erogenous zones. Kissing your partner’s neck, stroking his thigh, or licking his earlobe can all help build anticipation for what’s to come next and make it a lot more intense.
5. Mutual masturbation
Masturbating is another form of vulnerability that can translate into increased trust and a more satisfying sex life once you get over the initial awkwardness. If you let your partner get to know every inch of your body and allow him to learn your reactions, he’ll have an easier time predicting what you might like in the future, and you’ll become more harmonized in bed in general.
Apart from being a great form of sexual exploration, masturbating in front of your partner is like giving him a private show which can be incredibly arousing and give you a taste of what being an exhibitionist would be like, even though you might never want to try it.
6. Watch porn together
One of the best new things to try in bed is watching porn. While it might seem like a bad idea to people who prefer having vanilla sex because they’re sometimes afraid the other partner might become dissatisfied with how things are, it can be a great bonding activity and a learning experience in one.
Plus, just because you enjoy vanilla sex doesn’t mean you won’t benefit from fantasizing about certain kinks. A lot of women like to imagine themselves in dangerous situations or having sex with men they wouldn’t have sex with in reality, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And if you already have something you’d like to try in mind, introducing your partner to a porn video on the topic can be a way to subtly start the conversation.
7. Try tantric sex
Trying new things in bed doesn’t mean you have to change the way you have sex, but you can still improve it. One of the allures of vanilla sex is the way it encourages you to slow things down and focus entirely on your partner instead of rushing to have an orgasm. Suppose you want to take this experience to the next level. In that case, you should become familiar with tantric sex, which is defined as deliberate intercourse in which you and your partner try to synchronize breathing and become mindful of all sensations.
You can also pair it up with a sensual massage; invest in erotic oils that warm up the skin and turn the heat up even before you move on to sexual touch. And if you aren’t sure where to start, you can visit one of our previous articles that describes how to have this kind of intercourse in more depth. You can find it here.
8. Find a new position to test every week
If you’re looking for fun new things to try in the bedroom, how about a weekly challenge? When it comes to sex, every kind of novelty is a plus, and just because you don’t turn into a different character every time you get intimate doesn’t mean your sex life is stale.
But if you aren’t sure how to spice it up a bit, you can set yourself a goal to find a new position to try every time you have sex. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme as long as it adds some variety to your intercourse. For example, if you tend to have sex in a missionary position, you might try putting a pillow under your hips next time or try something completely new that challenges your flexibility or stamina.