Relationships can be tricky, especially when it’s the women smashing through the glass ceiling. Strong, powerful women do more than just adorn magazine covers; they crush the patriarchal archetypes. Take Christina El Moussa for instance. The popular TV show host, writer, and real estate investor have conquered every field and in style. But it was not smooth sailing for the former El Moussa. The doting couple separated publicly on December 2016. However, it was not until January 2018 that the couple finalized their divorce. What makes Hollywood women so prone to divorces? Is it fame or success? Or does it have anything to do with powerful women running the showbiz and hurting male sentiments?
A Peak into the life of Christina Anstead
Shortly after the divorce with Tarek El Moussa, Christina El Moussa married her sweetheart Ant Anstead in a secret wedding ceremony, taking her vows as a new woman. The now Christina Anstead, celebrated a year of togetherness with her husband during the winter of 2019. The beautiful couple shared touching messages about each other on social media alongside their wedding video. Christina wrote how she still gets emotional seeing the video of their wedding. Ant returned the favor with a heart-warming post for his loving wife. He said that she saved him and completed him. He went on to say how Christina is the perfect woman for him, affectionately addressing her as his wife.
Now, what clicked for Christina Anstead and worked against Christina El Moussa?
The Christina Life
Born Christina Meursinge Haack, the celebrity starred in her own HGTV show Christina on the Coast. She also appeared in the HGTV reality series Flip or Flop with her ex-flame, Tarek El Moussa. But Christina wasn’t always in the showbiz. She started working in real estate, straight out of college when she met her future husband, Tarek El Moussa. Moussa was not only her partner in marriage but also in business. Together they ran Tarek and Christina: The El Moussa Group, a real estate agency in the Orange County of California.
Christina El Moussa was a happy woman, a successful business partner and a mother of two. So, what drove Christina away from her partner and co-host Tarek? Christina blamed it on the lack of communication. It was only four weeks after her giving birth when Christina rejoined the set of Flip or Flop with Tarek. Looking back, Christina said that it might have been too soon, stating that she felt ‘overwhelmed.’ It drove the tension high between the couple, who gradually started drifting apart. Christina said in an interview later on that they were even going to the sets separately.
After a miscarriage and the birth of her second child, it’s all but natural for a woman to feel overwhelmed. Was it the over-burdening pressure that caused the rift or an inability of the partner to support her mentally? Either way, Christina said that being apart was healthier for both parties.
Why are there so many celebrity divorces?
Alessandra Conti, a dating expert, believes that most Hollywood couples end breaking up because they are too quick to jump into relationships. The celebrity matchmaker also says that celebrities often end up with someone familiar or ‘from the scene’. Conti says this is because they are not too sure about other people’s motives and hence crave the familiarity of the known.
Dr Claudia Luiz, the author of The Making of a Psychoanalyst and a psychoanalyst explains the effect of personal stress on relationships. Christina El Moussa complained about being overwhelmed by pressure owing to her personal life. She regretted having to return to set earlier than was mentally possible for her. Dr Luiz compared the lives of celebs with that of a pressure cooker in an earlier article. They have a responsibility towards their audience (which is why Christina hurried back to the sets) and their business. In between all this hoopla, it becomes challenging, Dr Luiz explains, to spend time processing their emotions. Celebrities desire quick clarity, which often leads to them parting ways amicably.
But is that all there is to it? Dr Luiz also blames the lack of motivation and financial constraints as factors for celebrities separating.
Strong women want supportive partners
But Christina El Moussa was more than just a celebrity. She is a woman who knows what she is doing. A strong, business-minded woman with a will to conquer, Christina was set out on a journey of self-improvement. Like she wrote in her Instagram bio, Christina Anstead is a dreamer. She is also a mother and a touring author.
Christina moved on from being just an El Moussa to an Anstead; she moved from being a supportive wife to her own woman.
What is it about strong women and relationships? Like Christina, strong-willed women know that they are more than just sidekicks. They are not the halves but the ones that complete the halves. To such a woman, a partner should be equally nurturing of her dreams. She wants a partner who realizes the same goals, someone to walk the miles with her instead of holding her back. A partner who will give her the push she deserves.
Christina’s six months marriage celebration post reflects just that. She posted a picture with Anstead and wrote about the six months of marriage and the turn her life has taken. She said that being with him is a manifestation of her vision board goals, which is like a dream. To her partner, Ant Anstead, Christina is a mother, a career-oriented woman venturing new opportunities and a traveler. She is all that and so much more. Strong woman, they want just that; someone who realizes the same dreams and goals as her.
Successful women handle relationships differently
Successful women like Christina Anstead have already found their ways. They are not looking for a relationship to save them. Successful women are not damsels in distresses, awaiting an SOS call to rescue their sinking ships. If a woman is marrying for emotional or financial stability, it is more likely to be an unsuccessful union. Relationships are no longer a cure for their loneliness or insecurities. But for women like Christina El Moussa, relationships are no longer grounded in emotional commonality.
The horizon has expanded and more towards sharing a common vision. It moves away from being a relationship based on needs to one based on shared goals. Now, the partner fuels the ambitions of the other’s dreams, helps her with her proofreads, makes her appointments, looks after the child, and makes her breakfast. In turn, she helps him with the taxes, his visions, motivates him for hitting the gym and becomes his equal.
The outlook changes as one matures through the ages. Christina El Moussa was dealt a rough hand before she could become Christina Anstead. It was the tough times that helped her realize her changing self and needs. Through her feelings of confusion, she identified her now true self.
It’s wrong to believe that a person stays the same all through her life. There are changes in the mind as in the body and each has its impact. A mother feels less desired for her changing physicality while a woman at the peak of her career feels threatened by her new position. To each woman there poses a different threat throughout her lifetime; for Christina, it was happening all too fast, too soon. She mourned her dead child; prepared her body and mind for a new one and, all the while she was a woman who hosted her own show. It was too many roles at once and Christina felt overwhelmed.
Try swapping Christina with any other hard-working woman you know and the statements still hold. Anyone of you would have felt overwhelmed in her shoes. The right thing to do during such a time is to step back and re-assess. Re-assess your strategies, allow yourself to catch a breath and feel it. What Christina El Moussa needed from her partner was the advice to sit back and relax. Maybe try out something less daunting, less challenging to her new role of motherhood. Instead, she hurried back to the sets to ‘keep up’ with her ‘busy schedule’.
What makes Ant Anstead successful? He realized this and recognized his multi-tasking wife. Instead of rushing her, he supported her dreams, helping her draw the lesson plan. He made her feel better about herself, through all these changes, all these plans, and all these projects.
Successful women process emotions better
Christina El Moussa said that it was healthier for her and Tarek El Moussa to be apart. For you to recognize what is healthy and unhealthy, it’s important to take charge of your emotions. Identifying one’s emotions is a crucial step towards taking command. It’s all about knowing the true feelings and acknowledging them.
One of the common mistakes a woman makes as a girl is disregarding her true feelings. So, you are in high school and believe your peers more than yourself. You may like to hang out with the dorky kid but your friends decided against that. As a woman, you tend to mature more and acknowledge what you want better. The idea is to step away from the shadow cast by your unsure self and be more adventurous.
Try out that new thing you wanted to do for so long, address your insecurities and work towards them.
Being in control of your emotions is not an easy task. Remember this and cut yourself some slack. So what you slipped? So what if there is someone better? The goal is to feel good in your skin and not be in a competition with anyone but the self. A successful woman like Christina who has been dealt the wrong hand recognizes that. She knows life can be tough but has taken it towards her stride. Most importantly, she understands what’s good for her, what’s healthy and aims towards nurturing that. The mantra is to accept the positivity and cut off the toxicity.
Being a better partner
According to Yahoo finance, Christina Anstead’s celebrity net worth stands at a whopping $12 million. But Christina credits her ‘supportive’ partner duly for her achievements.
In an interview with Christina Garibaldi, Us Weekly Correspondent, the former Christina El Moussa talks about her ‘supportive’ partner. The candid interview highlights the importance of support from one’s partner, despite situations. Christina says she was relieved to have Ant being supportive of her working with ex-husband Tarek. Christina and Tarek had already been working on a new episode of the hit Flip of Flop even before she met Ant.
Once a follower commented on a picture of the couple on social media asking if it wasn’t weird for Christina to work with her ex-husband! Ant being the adoring partner, replied that it wasn’t weird at all. He sought them as inspirational professionals whom he respected.
Ant serves as the perfect role model for the ideal partner of an independent woman. Ant has been supportive of everything Christina does and even takes it with a pinch of humor (think of his reply to that follower). To a woman who runs the show, the fitting partner is one who supports her running the show without being in the limelight. As Garibaldi pointed out in the Us Weekly interview, it takes a really strong and confident person to be okay with someone working with their ex all the time. Unless your partner can respect himself, he cannot fathom your independence. As they say, it begins at home!
Although Christina says it was an instant connect with Ant when they met, their relationship is based on mutual understanding and interests. Taking a page from the life of Christina El Moussa and turning it into an Anstead is what you should aspire to be as a powerful woman. Remember, the key is to balance and find someone who helps maintain it.