More and more couples ask how they can get back to being crazy in love when the feeling goes away. While some turn to silly books, many seek professional advice because they know that most of the times science is the only one that has the right answer.
You already know that it’s quite difficult to be in a long-term relationship if you are engaged, married or dating for a long time. It’s understandable to feel this way because you were not born having knowledge of how to have the perfect relationship. What works for someone, doesn’t for someone else, so you have to search for unique ways to improve your relationship. And even if it may sound surprising the simple things are the ones that help you bond.
Here are the best ways to improve your connection, backed by science.
Say goodbye to boring dates
When in a long-term relationship, it feels fine to spend your nights the same way, you have a dull dinner when you talking about your day. You hope you to have fun but you know that isn’t likely to happen. So what should you do to bring seduction back in your couple? Surprise. Seduction is based on surprise, something that disappears when two people get comfortable with each other. You got to know your partner and you feel that there’s nothing that can surprise you. Everything familiar will prevent seduction, so as long as your partner no longer surprises you, you won’t feel the same connection and vibe.
Pleasant activities are not enough, you need some exciting things in your life to boost your attraction. This is when you say goodbye to lame dinner nights. You should try some new things, like enrolling in a dancing class, skydiving or any other thing that makes you happy.
Boost the positive things in your relationship
You are probably spending a lot of time trying to fix the problems that prevent your relationship from being successful. But you should stop and try a new strategy. You should stop criticising your relationship, reduce the negativity, and try to boost positivity.
Studies show that the way we treat people during their good times influences more the quality of a relationship. When we try to change our partners, we create tension and we generate negative situations. We actually do more harm trying to fix the small negative parts than actually improving them.
Instead of spending your time trying to stop some arguments, they should try to accept the differences and ignore the bad. Do not try to fix what’s broken, you should instead double the ones that make you both happy.
You should get to know your partner, constantly
People change, their preferences change, their behaviour change, it’s part of evolution, so you should make sure that you communicate with your partner and know them as good as possible. One of the 100 secrets of a successful relationship is to build a high degree of intimacy with your partner. The couples who communicate better have greater chances to have a healthy and happy relationship.
You should exchange with your partner personal and emotional information constantly and to answer to the questions that help you create a lifelong bond. You shouldn’t have the misconception that it’s all about talking, it’s also about touching your partner. Studies show that when people maintain mutual unbroken gaze for 2 minutes they grow feelings of passion and love for each other. When people say that physical intercourse is a way to improve your bond they are right. Allow yourself to experiment with your sexual life, show your partner what you like. Doing exciting stuff like bringing sexual toys in bed and practicing activities that raise your adrenaline levels helps you get to know each other.
Have a first date again, from time to time
Do you like role-play? Then you should pretend you are on a first date from time to time, it will help you remember why you felt in love with each other. When on a first date you make an effort to show your best parts, and effort is what brings people together. Specialists state that when we make an effort to spend quality time with our partner we have more fun.
As you can remember, spending time for the first time with a person you have a connection with is one of the most enjoyable experiences, so you should pretend to be on a first date. A couple of studies have asked participants to engage into self-presentation activities, and the result was that they felt like they are better interacting with their partners.
You should try to find new talking subjects
Friedrich Nietzsche offered the best piece of advice to the people who want to get married; he recommended them to ask themselves a question before committing to a life-long relationship. “When marrying you should ask yourself this question: do you believe you are going to enjoy talking with this person into your old age?” He wrote that people should determine if they would like to talk with their partners even when they are old because physical attraction will no longer play a major role in their bond. All the other things that bring you together will go, as you get old, because things tend to be transitory, especially when speaking about marriage. As long as you are devoted to conversation, you will be happy with your partner.
You should make efforts to find common passions, interests because a mutual subject to talk about will help you get over the most difficult times. You should always search for things you both would like to do, from practicing sports to watching television shows and cooking new dishes. If you ever feel that you are running out of common subjects, you should try to find something else you are passionate about. The opportunities are endless.
And last but not least, spending time together is important, but spending time apart is crucial for a relationship. Therefore, you should also make efforts to find hobbies that separate you for some time because it’s healthy for a relationship, the partners to spend time on their own to focus on their own growth.