Not every man has the confidence needed to talk to a girl they like. The men seemingly born with self-confidence, make talking to a girl or anyone, easy and effortlessly. You probably wonder what their secret is, and you can read more here.
In the meantime, here are 8 ways to start a conversation with a girl you fancy, without feeling like an idiot or out of place.
1. Smile
You have to start somewhere and beginning with a smile lets a girl know you are not a mean jerk. A smile lets the other person know you are kind and most smiles are non-threatening.
You may want to try your smile out on a friend first. If your friend is honest, they will let you know if you have a good smile or look like a creep.
There are just some individuals that don’t have a good smile. If this is the case, a half smile or a smile with no teeth showing is just as good.
2. Approach
You can’t talk to a girl from across the room. She will not hear you and you will seem like a weirdo with all the yelling. You must approach the girl you want to have a conversation with, it is that simple.
You will need to walk up to her with confidence. If you lack confidence and can’t find it in the next few seconds, fake it. If you act like you are confident, you will project confidence and that is what you need right now.
You don’t want to walk like every superhero you’ve ever seen, but stand tall and walk with purpose. Be casual about your walk. You don’t have to do any fancy moves to get across the room. And keep your eye on her, this lets her know you are interested in talking with her and no one else.
Don’t show fear. That doesn’t mean to act like a cold jerk, just don’t let her know she scares you. And why should she scare you? The worst she could do is say “No thank you,” and you walk away. She can’t take anything away from you that you don’t give her. This means, keep your pride and dignity at all times.
3. Don’t Corner Her
Knowing where to sit or stand once you approach a girl, is just as important as what you say. Never corner a girl or make her feel uncomfortable by getting in her space.
Keep a respectable distance from her and face her. Look her in the eyes and nowhere else. She will be impressed that you are maintaining eye contact and not “checking her out” all over with your eyes.
Of course, you can look away now and then, just don’t fix your gaze on anything for longer than a second and come back to eye contact.
You don’t want to come on too strong and towering over her if she is sitting is doing just that. If you have to, kneel down next to her. Always try to be at her level.
4. Conversation Starters
Think about where you are. You are both at the same place, no matter where it is, so you already have that in common. You could ask “What brings you here?” as a starter if the reason is not obvious like the band, the food, the shopping or something else. Although one of these reasons may end up being her answer.
Ask open-ended questions, not questions that require a “Yes” or a “No” answer. Open-ended questions get people talking because they can’t answer with a simple one word.
5. Mind Her Cues
Watch her cues and adjust accordingly. If she is smiling and making eye contact, then she is genuinely engaged in the conversation and you. She wants to be there and wants to keep talking with you.
If, on the other hand, she is looking away a lot, not making eye contact and checking her phone, she is not interested in talking with you. It happens.
If you don’t make a connection, it’s okay. Don’t take it personally as girls get approached by different boys more than you will know. Say something like, “Have a great evening!” and walk away. There is no shame in trying and striking out.
6. Let Flirting Happen Naturally
Don’t push anything to happen. The “fake it till you make it” only applies to your confidence, not to the entire conversation or encounter.
Don’t push things. If you or she says something funny, go with it. Try to bring it around again later in the conversation for another laugh.
7. Be Yourself
Be yourself and nobody else. It is important to be yourself because if things work out, you can’t keep pretending to be the cool guy if you really are not that guy.
Changing yourself to “get the girl” doesn’t work and no one can keep up a different personality for the rest of their life. Either she will like you for you or she won’t and changing your personality will not change that feeling in her.
8. Be Casual
You don’t have to be formal with a girl you like. But be polite. Don’t curse because you don’t know how she feels about guys who talk like a sailor. If she curses, that’s fine, but you don’t have to bring out the swear words at the first meeting.
Overall, try to remember, she is just a girl, she is human, and she can’t hurt you. The best that can happen is the two of you get together, have a great time and maybe take the relationship into the future to a logical path to “Happily Ever After.”
The worst that can happen is, she says “No”, and you move on. Whatever happens, don’t worry about it. Life goes on and you will find someone to spend time with and eventually the “one” to spend the rest of your life with.
