Friends with benefits is not that new for us. We all at least once have heard about this term and kind of know what it is. Bet you saw that movie where Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis were playing it safe, and it all started as casual sex between them two till they dramatically fall in love with each other.
A lot of women became obsessed with the idea of finding a boyfriend that way. At the same time, ruining the first and original meaning of friends with benefits for guys and other women who are looking for nothing more but comfortable casual sex. We kept wondering if those women are lucky and if it does happen in real life, or it’s just another cute Hollywood rom-com?
Opinions can be divided into yes and no. Yes, because, in theory, anything is possible. And no, because in real-life experience usually, only one out of two catches feelings. If you are looking for a romantic story — it might not be the way to approach your future partner. It could get ugly and weird eventually. Besides, if you are not honest with the person from the beginning, it is simply not fair towards them.
In case you are doing it for physical needs, you might want to reconsider if you have a good friend in mind who will be down for it. If so — totally do the first step. Just keep in mind that you would need to have the conversation before you start anything. Ask if your friend would be down for that kind of relationship because you are both single, and both could use sexual company regularly.
Also, you can point out that since you are friends, you will be extra comfortable around each other. Discuss all the possible ways for both of you to get what you want. The only rule: never catch feelings. That has to include privacy consideration, if you have the same circle of mutual friends, would you keep it a secret or all your social surrounding would be okay with what you are doing.
Discuss the possibility if someone of you would meet someone else and would try to build a more serious relationship, how do you end this. Most importantly, do it gracefully and in peace. Talk through option seeing other people — sure, jealousy will be absent here.
In case you don’t have a friend you can arrange your benefits with, there are a few other ways to find yourself a friend. Some people are not friends with each other, or some find them somewhere between hookup sites.
There is no shame or whatsoever to find someone on a dating platform. Same as before, we suggest being honest about your needs and intentions. These websites are also cool because you get to experiment with your sexuality and sexual preferences. Maybe there are a few kinky scenarios in your head that you always wanted to try but never had a chance to do so, or the person you were with before didn’t feel right for that.
This is your chance to be open-minded and sincere to yourself. Since there is no romantic connection, you are not obligated to spend time together and can go back to your separate lives. Once you would take it seriously and hit it off with a friend for real, you will be satisfied all the time, drama-free, and keep your regular life to the point where you are the only priority.
Whatever you decide to do, be sure to stay safe and happy with your choices. If something goes not according to your expectations — leave. There are no hard feelings and no point in feeling guilty about ending a relationship like this, no matter how long it was going on.
Also, at some point, you might get close and see each other quite often, then fall off for a couple of months. A lot of people who had this kind of relationship say that you might get close to each other, and even might get a feeling that you are falling in love. That is the point where you should take a step back and logically look at the situation. Because of the entire point of that relationship. Unless you both are on the same page of that love thing, and maybe your story will end up like some Hollywood rom-com.
In the end, stay honest and true to yourself. If you feel like this type of relationship is for you – go for it without any hesitation and second thoughts. Life is too short for holding back and play it safe. Make the most of it!