We all want to settle down. We all want to have a family we can call our own in time. However, if you are already considering getting married, you need to be very careful about the things you might encounter in the future together with your partner. Sometimes when love is new, it is full of passion, but it might burn you in the process if you don’t think twice about the things that matter most.
Whether you’ve been together for too long or being together for months, you both need to level up the relationship, right? Whatever situation you are in, it is essential that you resolve minor and major issues together before committing to marriage. Remember that marriage is a sacred thing. You can’t just commit because you are too in love or too happy with him. There are bumps in the road in a relationship, and problems will come along the way. The more you learn how to resolve the conflicts together, the higher the chance that you’re ready for marriage. You have to be compatible if you want it to last.
Even if you love your partner now, when the problem arises, it won’t be easy to say that you’re staying because of love. If you’re still hesitant about the commitment you are taking, then you should learn to read on the six questions you must ask yourself before getting married. Check them out below!
1. Am I ready to handle conflicts in the future?
Marriage is a lifetime commitment, and if there may be problems in the future, you need to solve them together. The real question here is that, are you really ready to reconcile to the things that are bound to happen in the future? If you are in a relationship, conflicts are already happening, right? Now, if you can’t resolve the small conflicts right away, how will you be able to endure the big conflicts in your marriage life. Do you always argue about things? Are you always the first person to apologize? Does your partner yell at you? Is he hurting you physically if you tend to win the conversation? Or does he apologize by sending you cute word emoticons through chat? Only you know the answers to these questions.
Remember that marriages have to be healthy in order to last until a lifetime. It demands a lot of patience and communication that both of you can benefit from. If your conflicts as a couple don’t get any better, then you have to think twice if you are really ready for a lifetime commitment with your partner.
2. What are his bad habits?
What triggers conflicts in a relationship are the bad habits you and your partner have. Whether one of you likes smoking, alcohol, loves gambling, or worst addicted to a certain substance. Of course, you might not want to spend the rest of your life with someone who always goes home late at night, drunk, and high, right? No one would like that person as a partner. Right now is not the time for you to deny the bad habits of your partner. If he does things that are bad and unreasonable, you better stop yourself from thinking forever with him. Marriage life should be happy. Don’t make it become your worst nightmare.
Always think of the habits your partner has and identify if he’s still worth spending your life with. The bad habits he has now can be a potential reason why you will encounter a lot of problems in the future. Remember that you are about to build a family, so make sure you don’t settle for someone who is not brave enough to stop doing things that are bad for your relationship.
3. What are my career goals?
You have to be someone you already want to be in the future before you enter marriage life. You have to be ready and contented with your career now. You’re about to build a family, so you should expect that it is no longer all about you now. You have to be self-less. So, as you step up your relationship with your partner, make sure you have already achieved your life goals in life. If you still have future plans for yourself, it is better to achieve it first before saying yes to your partner.
4. Are we financially stable?
Married life doesn’t only start with “Good morning, my lovely wife.” every day. Financial stability or money issues have always been one of the most common problems in married life. You need to spend more, or you’ll need a lot of money if you want to settle down. You have to buy all the normal things that a family should have. You have a house for shelter, food to eat every day, and other things that will make your life comfortable. Make sure that your bank account is loaded, as well as your partner’s bank account too. If one of you is not financially stable, surely it can create problems because you’ll be pointing fingers towards each other when debts and bills come up.
It is important that while you are still in a relationship, both of you have already talked about the spending and security of your finances. However, if you think both of you are spending more than earning, you should talk about it and be responsible for your upcoming finances.
5. Am I ready to have kids?
The family will not be complete as it should be if you don’t have kids giggling and running inside your house. However, there are times that your partner would prefer to have kids years after marriage. You may be surprised why you should ask yourself about this. Well, this type of problem should not be overlooked. It is vital that you talk about your preferences and the choices you have to take if you want to be ready for marriage.
Right now, you should be assessed whether you only want one child or more. You should ask your partner about this too. Everything can be planned if both of you are doing their part of working out the commitment that you are going to undertake. You have to make adjustments, too, in order to compromise your plan of having kids.
6. What are the things I want to change before marriage?
Change is vital if you want to get married. It doesn’t mean that it’s your partner who has to change but also yourself too. You both have to be responsible for your actions in order to have a healthy marriage life in the future. You have to communicate and tell your partner about the things that you think would turn out best if he changes his ways. In the same way, let your partner talk about the things that he doesn’t like you doing and how you can change them for the better. For example, if you have different religions, you should talk about how you may be able to overcome different beliefs in your house. Of course, you don’t want to confuse your kids about who’s right and who’s wrong. Make sure that the conditions can help you and your partner save the whole marriage from falling apart.
You have to ask yourself all these questions before you can say that you’re ready for marriage. Evaluate everything if you don’t want to regret your decision that will last for a lifetime. Make sure that your “I do” is worth all the happiness for you and your partner to live happily ever after.
Scott Zhou is the owner of Ponwell.com. He is an entrepreneur by spirit. Scott likes to share his insights on an array of topics related to relationship, self-improvement, lifestyle and motivation. His recent collection of powerful quotes will showcase the importance of relationship to achieve the goals of living in harmony.