If you’ve been dating for a while but haven’t been asked for a formal marriage proposal, it’s very normal to feel anxious. Why do some guys delay proposing their partners despite the fact that they’re having the most intimate and progressive relationships in the world? According to brides.com, over 40% (equating to around 80,000 proposals) of women expect a wedding proposal during holidays but are left empty-handed for not-so-obvious reasons.
As reported in Cosmopolitan, Laguna Pearl wanted to find out what so many people seem to be wondering over the holiday season: Why hasn’t he proposed yet?! So the national online jewelry retailer initiated a study to figure it out. Here’s what happened.
The Research Basics
A total of 1,001 adult American men were surveyed across a vast range of education, employment, income and family backgrounds. They asked multiple questions regarding their fears, mindsets, future goals and expectations when it comes to proposing or tying a knot with their partners. Also, they decided to choose men from diversified relationship backgrounds including single, committed and divorced.
The survey included around 48% university students, 25% high school goers, 14.19% post graduate individuals while 10.39% went to a vocational technical college.
Out of 1,001 men, 43.56% were employed whereas 18.38% were retired. As far as income bracket is concerned, 26% earns somewhere between $25k and $49,999 whereas the yearly income of 21% was less than $25k.
So what are the results?
He’s Not Financially Prepared for the Wedding… Most guys hesitate to get into a formal relationship when they’re not too sure about their financial stability. According to the research, over 27% of men considered financial instability and their future financial goals as one of the biggest obstacles in their marriage plan. This figure involves ‘I don’t have a full-time job’ concern or personal future goals. The 26% of the remaining figure highlighted their debt issues (including their personal loans, student loans and credit cards). 17% were not ready because they don’t want to bear hefty wedding expenses. According to 6% of individuals, they’re just not too sure about the cost of their engagement ring (stones/gems/making cost and of course their partner’s demand). Yes, you heard it right. Engagement ring is also amongst one of the reasons why men hesitate to propose their partners. More than 50% of men agreed that finding the perfect engagement ring is a source of pressure for them. 17% was afraid of their partner’s debts. (So thoughtful of them, right?)
He Wants to Stay Single… Your partner may not be ready to compromise his single life in which he is obviously free to follow his own rules. The reason that they have to accept the responsibility and provide are believed to be some of the many reasons why American men delay proposing their girlfriends. The idea that they have to help around the house and dedicate their time and money (yes, even on the weekends) make them feel uncomfortable and unconfident about their plans.
Let’s Wrap Up!
Okay, so we’ve seen three major reasons (hurdles to be precise) that affect men’s decision when it comes to getting married. Now let’s have a closer look at what the study proves from the findings.
There is no denying the fact that the current debt situation isn’t too conducive for the U.S. citizens and it is obviously no surprise if men are considering it as one of the barriers in their formal wedding planning. Not only they’re worried about their own loans but are also anxious about their partner’s debts and loans.
The Ring (and other wedding expenses)
The price of an engagement ring is certainly one of the biggest reasons why over 50% of men feel hesitant to propose their loved ones. They consider this factor as one of the sources of pressure that’s difficult to deal with considering all other wedding expenses.
Sexual discontentment is yet another reason reported by many men. Having not enough sex, mundane or boring sexual life and lack of commitment because their partner had many sexual affiliations earlier are some of the many reasons why a lot of men never trust their partners.
When asked about the three main considerations, 3 common replies came to the forefront – finance, health and capacity of their partners to adjust with their family/background, and the length of relationship. The divorced men, however, had somewhat different priorities and they put more emphasis on sexual life, finance and the health and lifestyle of their girlfriends.
The purpose of this entire research was to get one exact answer to the question, ‘why men hesitate to propose their girlfriends’? So, in the end, they tried to gather as many genuine and accurate answers as possible. Here’s the sneak peak of their research findings:
- 13% said they don’t want to give up their freedom
- 12% were just too overwhelmed because of the wedding pressure
- 10% were worried as how they’ll manage a great-looking engagement ring
- 9% believed that moving in together has made them reconsider their proposing decision
- 8% were just not comfortable with their partner’s family
- 7% had some other reasons
- 6% were afraid of the family politics
- While meager 5% found it difficult to picture themselves settling down with their partner
What’s the Solution???
At this point, you must have a clear idea about obstructions that have made it difficult for the American men to propose their partners. Now, let’s talk about the solution. See, it’s in your own hands to make your partner realize that he’s in a worthy relationship. Try to be open about your perceptions and what you actually expect from him. You can talk about finances, sort out jewelry affairs (ditch conventional diamond ring and opt for pure and affordable gemstones like pearl). Keep in mind, everyone deserves to be with someone who actually values his/her feelings or emotions better than other materialistic things.