We talked to Alex Wise, dating coach and creator of Loveawake dating site, to get a guy’s perspective on dating profiles. Read his tips for turning a so-so profile into a successful one.
1. Tell stories instead of listing adjectives. Many women give a laundry list of adjectives to describe themselves. But as Alex points out, “Adjectives don’t describe anything. If you are nice and smart and warm and funny, so is your mom and so am I. Adjectives don’t do anything to differentiate you even if they’re all true.”
Instead, he suggests using stories to illustrate personality traits. For instance, you could show your special brand of brainy with a sentence like “I could answer all the science and nature questions on Trivial Pursuit.” It’s more specific and more interesting that way.
2. Focus your photos on you. Outdated or misleading photos are some of the reasons people sometimes distrust online dating. “You can’t go wrong with a good, clear, recent photo,” Alex said. “I think people want to see people, not your cat or a picture of a mountain and you’re a dot on the mountain. Showing you having an active life is wonderful, but we want to see you.” Ask a friend to snap a few close-ups the next time you’re doing something you enjoy.
3. Write about what you want, not what you don’t. We’ve all read profiles that warn others not to write if they’re fat, self-involved, emotionally unavailable, or have other negative traits. But staying positive and writing about the things you’re actually looking for will appeal to more people.
“If you’re a college, do you try to get the fewest applications from only the best people?” asks Alex. “Or would you rather be Harvard and get thousands of applications? You can be more selective when you have more opportunity. If the wrong guy writes to you, delete him.”
4. Leave a little to the imagination. Rather than writing your entire life story, give other users just a taste of what you’re all about. “You’re really trying to do a highlight reel,” says Alex. “Appeal to as many people as possible. Add a little about family, friends, work. Put in some self-deprecating humor.” That way you’ll have something to chat about during a first date!
Your turn! How would you tweak a friend’s dating profile? Any other tips or tricks to add?