Bill Maher famously once said women are not at liberty to complain about men anymore until they get better taste in them. There is so much relationship advice going around in the world, all which doesn’t matter if most of it is just guess work.
If you keep choosing the wrong then not even the expert relationship advice will help you. The reality of life is that you will never turn a losing stock into a winning stock. You can never force a man and you can never force them to want you either. See the thing is, unless they want to, you can never force a person to feel a certain way towards you.
Most women spend too much of their time to chase after guys who wouldn’t or couldn’t give them what they wanted, and then they get stuck wondering what was wrong with them when they fail to get lasting love.
The problem is so simple: You are choosing all the wrong men. Even though this sounds pretty straightforward, it is a tricky thing. It is easy to fall for such men because it feels so right and its easy to get swept up in their passion, their aura of unavailability that is intoxicating, and the chemistry. Women tend to get sucked into these men’s space because they are beyond their reach.
When you engulf yourself with wrong guy, you open doors for so much confusion in your life. You are setting yourself to lose if you are hung up on being with a man who can’ or won’ commit, a man with serious issues, or a man with baggage. What you are doing is blocking your chances of actually finding true love.
Where Do Healthy Relationships Begin?
Before looking into what you need to look into when choosing a guy, let’s talk about what a healthy relationship is all about. The way a relationship begins is very important because it can close our eyes to critical things and lead us down the wrong path and right into a toxic relationship.
Romance novel and movies insinuate that love is all about the rand gestures so you may be fooled by this and find yourself obsessing over the wrong guy simply because you felt instantly attracted to them when you met them.
Unfortunately, the unhealthy relationships always start with a pull. It is almost impossible for a relationship that started from a place of unadulterated passion to survive. Unless there is a depth of connection and substance holding the two together, such affairs don’t last.
A healthy and long lasting relationship is not created by explosive chemistry. Even though the chemistry may lead to awesome feelings of euphoria and great sex, it may not last long enough. Healthy relationships on the other hand tend to build slowly. They start with mutual interest and then the attraction grows overtime.
You should focus more on objectivity if you want to prevent hurting and if you want to find a healthy relationship. You need to start using your head more than you use your heart especially in the beginning of the relationship.
The heart has a tendency of leading people in all the bad places because somehow it convinces you that it is okay to go after a bad boy. The heart wants what it wants right? Well, you need to snap out of it and use your brains instead. You need to understand that the heart will never be rational or reasonable, that’s the work of the brain. You have to be as objective as you can in the beginning of a relationship and this includes using your brain.
The best way to achieve this is by taking it slow, ease slowly into the relationship instead of going into it headstrong. This will allow your level of attraction and interest to grow over time, instead of having a bi emotional dilemma.
Avoid spending too much time with him at the beginning because you will overlook important information about who he is and if a relationship with him will last. Just because you feel strongly for each other, that doesn’t mean you are meant to last.
It is imperative that the two of you have shared goals and interests, a strong foundation of compatibility, and common values. These are things you just can’t afford to negotiate. It is important to determine if you are fundamentally compatible before you become emotionally invested. The idea is to date smart.
Qualities You Need To Look For in A Man
One who loves and accepts all your qualities
You need a man who lets you be your true self. You need to be able to feel vulnerable and safe at the same time knowing that he’s okay with who you are
One Who’s Always There For You
You need a guy who will be there for you even when its inconvenient for him. He needs to be with even when the storms comes because life is full of unexpected outcomes.
One with similar values and beliefs
Even though this is so obvious, most women overlook it. Unless he two of you are fundamentally compatible, you will experience a lot of future problems.
One Who openly communicates with you
In all relationships, there are miscommunications, fights, and obstacles. The only a couple can survive these is if communication is a key factor in the relationship. Unless there is open communication, neither of you will emerge from the tough times better and stronger.
One who wants the kind of commitment you want
Never go for a guy who is not commitment-minded, a guy who still wants to act like a bachelor. You need to make sure the guy is on the same page with you if you want to be in a committed relationship.
One who wants to make it work
You also need to make sure that the guy is willing to make it work by all means necessary. You need a guy who won’t leave when things get rocky. And you definitely need a guy who would enroll in Grand-junction drug and alcohol rehab centers if his addiction is causing strain in your relationship.