How to Support Your Mental Health When Going Through Divorce


Divorce is always a difficult experience that can have severe consequences for an individual’s life and mental health. While divorces surrounded by misunderstandings and fights are obviously the most difficult ones, even when both partners understand the necessity of ending their marriage, such an experience may still be quite traumatic.

Divorce is often associated with financial difficulties, as well as a lot of stress, and emotional complexities. It may damage people’s self-esteem and even lead to the development of various mental health disorders. At the same time, it’s important to understand that different people may experience different consequences of a divorce.

Common effects of divorce

Married people can get divorced when one or both of them no longer want to be married to each other. Unfortunately, even if both of you agree on that matter, that doesn’t mean that a divorce is going to be easy.

First of all, lawyers’ services are not cheap. Secondly, your divorce may also impact other members of the family and friends. Last but not least, even if you weren’t satisfied with your marriage, you may still feel lost and lonely after the divorce.

The most common symptoms people experience after a divorce are depression, social isolation, a low level of life satisfaction, and self-esteem issues. Such symptoms may also be accompanied by feelings of guilt and sadness.

Financial challenges associated with a divorce are particularly common among women because of the gender pay gap and the fact that many women are working part-time while also taking care of children and the household. Many women have to continue to raise their children alone, which can create a lot of emotional pressure and lead to stress and exhaustion.

At the same time, women usually receive more social support and have stronger social networks. As a result, men often feel more isolated and lonely, trying to cope with the negative emotional consequences of divorce through unhealthy habits.

The good news is that you don’t need to deal with all the negative consequences of divorce alone. Thanks to online therapy platforms, you can receive the necessary emotional support and get help with mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, and self-esteem issues.

Let’s consider the benefits of therapy in more detail.

Benefits of post-divorce therapy

Self-esteem therapy can help you get back on track and overcome feelings of guilt and unworthiness. A licensed therapist can also help you figure out the root causes of your mental health issues so that you can improve your overall well-being and move on.

Here are some of the key practical benefits of therapy after divorce.

You can learn to enjoy solitude

Many people who go through a divorce experience an identity crisis and feel very anxious about their future. A therapist can help you figure out your way outside of the marriage and set the right goals. It’s possible to replace self-pity and the feeling of loneliness with an understanding that solitude gives you a lot of opportunities for growth.

You can learn to love yourself

No matter how dysfunctional a relationship was, many people tend to blame themselves for not making it work. Post-divorce therapy can help you understand that even if your actions are the reason for the divorce, blaming yourself and cultivating self-hate will not help.

Obviously, it can be even more helpful for victims of abuse and toxicity who may have problems with self-love because of damaged self-esteem.

You can start dating again

Those who have been married for many years can find it extremely difficult to make new acquaintances. A therapist can get you on the right track, helping you recover from the divorce so that you can start searching for the right person if you need it.

You can move on

The end of a marriage is often associated with a strong feeling of loss. However, the chances are that you were living a decent life before you got married. Although making a transition to a single life can be quite a challenge, it’s still possible. All you need is some support and a good piece of advice.

Types of therapy

Given that people experience different consequences of divorce and every relationship is unique, therapists may also use different therapeutic modalities. Depending on your symptoms and their severity, your therapist may choose the appropriate approach.

Here are some of the most common types of therapy.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavioral therapy has proven to be effective when treating depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, and many other mental health problems. It’s based on the idea that unwanted emotions and behaviors are rooted in unhealthy thinking. CBT aims to identify the unhelpful thoughts that cause unwanted symptoms and ultimately replace them with healthier ways of thinking.

CBT therapy often involves not only conversations between a client and a therapist but also some sort of homework, including journaling and various worksheets. 

Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)

This type of therapy is rooted in CBT, but it is usually used in situations where emotions are particularly strong and difficult to manage. DBT seeks acceptance when changing some of the negative thoughts is too difficult.

Interpersonal therapy

As the name suggests, interpersonal therapy has a lot to do with communication and relationships. This type of therapy might be particularly useful if a divorce created a feeling of isolation, and you started to avoid social interactions.

For example, interpersonal therapy can help you start dating again. It often involves roleplay exercises aimed to help you learn to deal with different social situations and improve your interpersonal skills.

Psychodynamic therapy

This is probably the oldest type of therapy because it is rooted in Sigmund Freud’s theory of psychoanalysis. The main idea behind psychodynamic therapy is that certain experiences and feelings get suppressed into the subconscious while still being able to impact our emotions and behavior.

This type of therapy usually doesn’t focus on a single problem but aims to improve a client’s overall emotional well-being. As a result, psychodynamic therapy might take more time than CBT or DBT.

How to get help

While traditional therapy may not be the most convenient option if you have a busy work schedule, online therapy allows you to get the necessary help from virtually everywhere with no need to commute to a therapist’s office. 

Online therapy platforms like Calmerry allow you to send unlimited text messages to licensed therapists from your state and schedule live video therapy sessions. All you have to do is answer a few questions about your symptoms, and the platform will match you with an appropriate therapist within an hour.

You can heal and move on, just ask for help if you need it.


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