Because the swinging lifestyle is frowned upon by most people, swingers are usually very discreet about how they conduct themselves in public places. Sure, they have their own bars and clubs, but they are usually very careful who they let in. This is of course because they want to have their own private places where swingers can find swingers without having to constantly look over their shoulder in fear of being judged or worse. But having separate bars and clubs doesn’t mean they are some kind of secret organization that doesn’t let other people know what they do behind closed doors. Swingers usually are very forthcoming about what they do The better part of their time is spent on meeting people and couples and getting to know them.
Find Swingers in Special Bars
The best place to find swingers, especially if you are new to the lifestyle and still getting your bearings, is at special bars and clubs. These are some of the places that swingers feel safe and are able to express themselves without fear or shame of being watched or judged by somebody else. The bars themselves don’t differ from any other bar you might walk into to have a beer after a hard day’s work or go to catch up at the end of the week with your friends. What might be different though are the people that usually hang around the place, but don’t let that scare you in any way. Everybody is there to have a good time.
Trying to find swingers at a bar is usually very easy, especially if you know which bars to go to. These special locations usually have parties or all kinds of mixers in order to draw in customers and advertise the fact that swingers can meet safely there. Although access to these parties might be sometimes difficult if you are not a regular member, you can get in on any of the regular nights and work your way up to being invited to a party.
If it is your first time going to one of these bars or clubs, and nobody seems to notice you, don’t be alarmed. Don’t expect people to just come up and start talking to you or inviting you to join them in a separate room. Swingers are just like regular people, and regular people tend to hang out with their friends. That’s why you’ll see a lot of different groups around the room. Remember that you are the “new kid” that has to go the extra mile in order to make new friends. The best thing to do, especially if this is one of your first times going to a bar like this is to hang out and try to find people to talk to, but without being too clingy. You can have a drink or two to loosen up, you can even start dancing if you feel like it. You can do anything that makes you feel relaxed and helps you get engaged with the people around you.
Meet Swingers Using Apps and Special Platforms
In the earlier days of the swinging movement, people would sometimes find it quite difficult to meet other people to swing with. In the very fortunate event that they found somebody, they would firstly asses them rigorously before going forward with any kind of invitation or initiative. Because meeting swingers was to hard back then, and people were suspicious of anything that they didn’t understand, the best thing to do was to host parties at private homes. This gave the chance to swingers from the community to meet each other, catch up and even bring in other people that wanted to know more about the lifestyle.
Nowadays it’s gotten really easy to meet swingers. There are now a lot of options for people wanting to find out more about how and where swingers hang out. Just like the dating apps for gays or straight people, swingers have their own apps that can be used very easily by practically anybody, and they are just as easy to use. All you have to do is create an account or log in with an existing social media account and start looking for anything that you are interested in.
If you’re not down with the whole app dating thing, but still want to meet swingers and find out more about their lifestyle, you can visit one of the numerous platforms that are dedicated to the movement. There you can find helpful information like what clubs are in your area or how to find a couple to swing with. You can even use the forum sections to post your own questions and let real swingers answer them. The important thing to remember is to have an open mind and not be afraid to search for answers.
Make Sure You Understand What You’re Walking into when You Meet Swingers
A lot of people might be afraid when it comes to going to a swingers club. There are three important things that you should know such as: “you do not have to dress particularly; you do not have to have sex; It’s more fun if you bring a friend ”. Some might have visions of the orgy scene from “Eyes wide shut” while others might envision some outdated stereotypes such as aggressive men and women having unprotected sex with one another wherever they feel like it. That’s not really how the whole thing works. First of all, yes, sex is a big part of the whole thing, but it isn’t the only part. You might be surprised to find out that swingers often just get together and talk, just like any group of friends would on a Saturday evening. This is why it’s easy to meet swingers, because swingers usually want to meet new people that are curious and eager to engage them. There might be more touching and possibly kissing involved, but that’s just between friends. Nobody does anything to anyone without consent.
Another thing you should know is that swingers aren’t daredevils. That means that they don’t just grab anybody they want and have their way with them without taking any protective measures first. If you’ll start going to clubs and parties, you’ll notice that most of the time is dedicated to talking and getting to know people, just like in any regular situation. You have to make sure that the person you’re interested in isn’t some kind of weird and understands what’s going to happen later. Secondly, ground rules are established. This means that everybody has to be on the same page and understand what they can and cannot do. Clubs usually have their own set of rules, besides the ones that people set amongst themselves.
If everything has gone according to plan so far, you might just be in for a fun night. All you have to do now is make sure you stay safe. Clubs usually offer all sorts of condoms and prophylactics in order to make sure their customers are safe. Also, people hosting private parties usually put out several bowls with condoms and everybody is encouraged, and in some cases even obligated, to use them in order to prevent any kind of diseases or unwanted pregnancies. At the end of the day, swingers tend to take care of who they hook up with and that’s a good thing. You can rest assured that everybody wants to have fun but is also responsible enough to take care of themselves.
What to Do When First Going to Find Swingers Club
After finding a swinger’s club near you, with an event you’re interested in, and deciding you want to go there are a few things you should know and do in order to have a fun night out:
- Don’t get there too late. Swingers, just like your regular friends, will tend to group up. This means that is you get there too late the crowd would have already broken up into smaller groups and you might be left out. After you get there you should find swingers you might want to talk to and start chatting and see where it goes from there.
- Try and find people to talk to. The most important thing when going to a swingers club is to get to know the people that are there. You might find some people with very interesting stories or you might not. The important thing is to try and talk to as many as possible. If you’re interested in somebody you speak to, but don’t want to make it sexual on the first evening, you can note their name seeing what you can find about them online (using a public records search). This can help give you peace of mind about the potential interaction, or highlight any red flags before you do something you regret.
- Don’t judge. You might not like, agree or even understand with some of the things you will see at a swingers club. The important thing to remember is to keep an open mind and understand that nobody is doing anything without consent.